Talk:Indecision 2008:America's Choice
NOTES Novemebr 4, 2008= * Dr. Colbert starts the program at the desk with His Jewish Friend ** even allowing him to speak first * Dr. Colbert made an executive decision to rename the show from "America's Choice" to "The Final Endgame Alpha Action Go Time...No Mercy Judgment Day '08" * someone named "Chuck" is the director ** Jewboy recommended "Indecision '08" *** setting fire to Dick Gephart and blew him up * still early ** playing out to Obama's game plan * Colbert has tracking numbers ** first breaking news *** reports of ladies turning 100 today! **** with the extreme taste of Mountain Dew, who have extreme *** Jared Miller brings a cockatoo, named Roscoe, who sat on his shoulder * Jewboy had the nerve to tell Stephen to "sack up" * Ohio 18% precincts reporting ** Obama *** Ohio's flag is similar to Cuba's flag * New York ** Obama * Dr. Colbert says ** Obama wins Pennsylvania * Dr. Colbert voted with his tongue * New Jersey 26% ** Obama * South Carolina ** McCain Segment2 * Dr. Colbert ** 20% New Hampshire (the Granite State, which Stephen will need, because he will slam his head into the kitchen counter) *** Obama * 67% Kentucky ** John McCain * McCain is called Louisiville Slugger, because he is 10% cork * Connecticut ** 26% reporting ** Obama * a look at the electoral map ** Obama 207 ** McCain * Jason Jones in Chicago (South side) at Obama HQ ** cautious optimism ** it looks different when Obama is in town *** woodland creatures are apprehensive of a McCain/Palin administration * Rob Riggle, huge numbers of people voting ** stopped 15-20 people from voting * John Oliver at election center ** great and noble responsibility *** his visa is up ** our debt to China allows them to keep us as pets ** Americans have started emailing Nigerian princes *** Shitburger got past the censors * Stephen checked lotto results ** things are looking good for "9" Segment3 * Steve Forbes stops by * Georgia ** 46% precincts in: McCain * Iowa ** Obama * Vermont ** 26% reporting for Obama ** Stephen says let them go *** he still has his bee farm for his honey (he doesn't need syrup) * Rhode Island ** Obama * Forbes says the credit crisis did McCain in ** didn't differentiate himself from TGPE * GOP is Palin in 2012 * Forbes is a flat tax man ** Palin would be on the stump saying "Flat Tax" * Forbes will not run again ** he is an agitator * he lost in 1996 and 2000 ** Forbes' advice to McCain *** really nice to Mrs. McCain *** go on a vacation * Forbes may help GOP with economic bona fides Segment4 * Dr. Colbert is live blogging all night long ** watch him and read him * Stewart writes stuff on cards ** He's Amish * Stephen is also [[Twittering]] * Dr. Colbert yells into a tube connected to a jug, which will be buried ** simultubing * Illinois ** Obama * electoral college 10:31 ** 207 Obama ** 135 McCain * Louisiana ** John McCain * white voters are reluctant to admit voting for a black man ** Bradley Effect *** Milton Bradley game "Poll Tax" * various correspondents ask people on the streets to see who is telling the truth about who they voted for Segment5 * Samantha Bee ** McCain HQ * people are upbeat, realistic * Escher-like hellscape ** the mouth of madness *** no doors only venegeful shadows ** Obama wants to kill the coal industry ** Obama has an Aunt who is living in America illegally ** Obama palls around with a flesh-eating bacteria * Dr. Colbert knows His Jewish Friend is in the tank for Obama ** and calls him so mainstream he could launch a canoe in him *** off the freedom bank * Aasif Mandvi ** Afghanistan, Pakistan border * Harvard is a fairly liberal school for a madrassa * Obama made an unveiled threat against bin Laden, another reason for why they hate Obama ** these people love their veils * Stephen asked a question in Urdu ** Stephen determined that Aasif checks out * Obama polls strongly in red caves ** young terrorists like Obama *** Stewart asked about terrorists over 30, showing he knows nothing about terrorists Segment6 * Charles Ogletree ** mentor to both Michelle and Barack Obama * have known them for 25 years ** not yet a radical * he is cautious * if Obama becomes 44th president ** racism won't be over * doesn't think racism is over until he gets to host the show * book from lynch mobs to the killing state * he thought Michelle would run for office and Obama would be a great mayor * he didn't know they weren't socialist * he thought they were conservative * the secret ** good jump shot ** good with his diet ** brilliant mind * Larry Wilmore comes in and start measuring the desk ** Obama will win and Wilmore will take over the show * same America ** darker ** baggier clothes * Tyler Perry's House of Daily Show with Larry Wilmore ** Wilmore throws to Wyatt Cenac at the Cenac Agenda Segment7 * Jewboy asked if Stephen is a hologram ** Stephen is scratch and sniff * Virginia ** 91% reporting Obama * Stephen has a great feeling creeping up his leg * Stephen doesn't understand ** he doesn't say "die" ** he says "blame" *** he blames the "The Plumbers" **** they didn't show up * not the hockey moms ** it's the hockey dads ** too many kids are growing up in single hockey families ** destroying hockey culture * the "The Plumbers" may have been * Stephen is hollow inside ** could have stored chocolates and whiskey inside him ** human pinata * maverick vote ** haven't voted yet ** will go to Alaska be the last to vote * Stephen has no thoughts ** he has lots of feelings ** night long over due * we have as a nation reached the mountaintop ** finally a Hawaiian president *** "Mele Kalikimaka" not Merry Christmas, but "I Have A Dream" * Jewboy declared Obama president * CNN projects Obama is next president ** passed 260 electoral votes *** CA, OR * electoral map ** 297 Obama ** 139 McCain * Jason Jones and Samantha Bee are confused as to what to cover * Stephen puts on his sensory deprivation goggles and ear muffs * all the correspondents are in shock, not knowing what to do * they all follow Stewart to the roof, where they find Billy a small boy bouncing a red ball ** Stephen has to remind them Bush is still president for another 2 1/2 months * Stephen and His Jewish Friend return to the desk ** the correspondents stand behind them Segment8=